Monday, June 28, 2010

Apologies, Reader.

I have been super-slack about updating my blog, which I find alternately completely unacceptable and completely understandable. Such is the mind-weather of a pregnant woman. That's right, PREGNANT. I'm sure whoever reads this already knows I'm with child, but just to log it, here are the facts. Due mid-January, so far little bitta nausea and extreme fatigue, but no puking so far (fingers crossed), craving canned ravioli, Indian food, and peaches. Feeling very excited and blessed, but also scared shitless. One baby I can handle. Sort of. With the exception of his nuclear meltdown moods, in a given day Henry and I can generally run a few errands, straighten up, play, visit friends, and have an all-around pleasant day. But two? I don't know about two. I think my fear partly stems from me being an only child. I really don't understand the dynamics of having more than one child. What do you do if they both need you? What do you do if they both need you and you're about to tear your own hair out because you haven't slept, bathed, changed clothes, brushed your hair, or had four consecutive minutes to yourself in three days? (I've already experienced this with one.) As I've mentioned, Henry has been a wonderful, awesome kid and I would never change anything about him. BUT, he was a couple dozen handfuls when he was an infant. Can I survive another intense newborn and a fairly intense toddler?
I realize all of these things are problems of a lucky person. I feel incredibly grateful that I had a healthy pregnancy with Henry and that now we have this awesome, spirited kid. And we absolutely, knowingly made the choice to have Henry and to have Lil' Tadpole. So, in conclusion, I'm feeling scared, excited, happy, exhausted, hungry, nauseated, worried, and mostly grateful.